


When There's Nothing Left to Say

by 7ate9



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Benji's POV, Breakups, Canon Compliant, Conversations, M/M, Oneshot, what happened after Victor left
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:13:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25554118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7ate9/pseuds/7ate9
Summary: What happened after Victor left Benji and Derek at the dance? What did Benji say? How did he end up at the bench? Here's my take
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Derek (Love Victor), Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar
Comments: 12
Kudos: 69





	When There's Nothing Left to Say

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to do this so I did it. That's it.

Benji watched Victor walk away, watched him hang his head, slump his shoulders, his back tensing with each step he took. He felt his smile fade, the corners of his mouth turning down the farther Victor went. He went out the door. Benji wondered if he was leaving the dance. He wondered if that was entirely his fault.

Derek looked down at the floor. Benji looked at him, a glare taking over his own features. Who was Derek to get so mad about a kiss? 

Deep down, Benji understood. There would have been no reason to hide that kiss if there were no feelings attached on his end. Of course Derek would be mad that another guy kissed his boyfriend. Was Benji really mad at Derek, or was he mad at himself? Who was Benji to shut out his friend when he knew he was hurting and dealing with his own struggles? Didn’t Victor deserve someone to talk to? Someone who understood?

If Benji really didn’t want Victor, wouldn’t he have been that person?

Derek sighed and reached for Benji’s hand. “He’s right.”

This was enough to shock Benji out of his stupor. He’d been staring at the door for God knew how long, long enough that when he finally blinked, his eyes burned. “Huh?”

Derek shrugged and took a small step toward him. He had a sweet smile on his face. “He’s right. You are amazing.”

Benji furrowed his brows. He sure as hell didn’t feel like it. He never did when he was with Derek. 

He startled at the realization. He fucking hated himself when he was with Derek. He was always anxious. He was anxious right now. Although, that could’ve been for so many reasons other than Derek’s presence. “I don’t get what you’re saying.”

Derek rolled his eyes and took another step closer. He was in Benji’s space now, and normally Benji didn’t really mind, but he did now. He minded a lot. 

“I mean,” Derek said, “you’re good. To me. To everyone. And I don’t want to lose you.” He squeezed Benji’s hands, but it felt so wrong. “You’re too good a catch.”

Benji blanched. “Derek, no. Stop.”

“What?” Derek was angry again. He snatched his hand away. “Are we really about to do this? Didn’t you say you wanted to enjoy this lame-ass dance?”

Benji bit his lip and took a step back. “I can’t do that with you.”

Derek stared at him. “What the fuck are you saying, Ben?” He said. Fuck, Benji hated when he called him that. Derek  _ knew _ he hated when he called him that. “Do you want to break up? Now?”

Benji didn’t answer. He really wasn’t sure. Or, at least, he didn’t think he was. Something inside him, though, was screaming out,  _ yes, please, end this now. _

Derek scoffed and took a few steps back. “I can’t believe this. Because of that kid? You’re really breaking up with me for someone who doesn’t even know what the fuck he is? For some asshole who cheated on his girlfriend? Really?”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Benji snapped. “Yeah, he did some questionable things, but he was confused and stressing out, and he’s doing everything he can to make up for it. Exhibit A: he likes me but is staying away. For  _ you. _ He’s a good friend. And from what I’ve seen, a pretty damn good boyfriend. Which is more than I can say for you.”

Derek waved his hands around dramatically. “A  _ good boyfriend? _ He  _ cheated _ , Benji! And you really don’t care?”

“It’s deeper than that,” Benji said. “Of course I care. But I get it. It’s hard being in the closet with no one to help you.”

Derek stared at him, clearly flabbergasted. “So, what? We’re done? Because someone said something nice about you, you’re breaking up with me to be with someone who isn’t even out?”

Benji shook his head. “We’ve been off for a while, Derek. I don’t like being around you anymore. I like being with him. I like him. That’s it.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, Derek, I really am. I wanted us. But we don’t match.”

Derek waved him off. “No, you know what? I’m done. Go date the pretty boy who probably hasn’t even said that he’s gay out loud yet. See how well  _ that  _ goes for you.”

Benji watched him walk away just as he had Victor. But this time, it wasn’t with remorse or sadness. It was with relief. He was so very relieved.

And then he thought of Victor. He thought of the look in his eyes as he said he’d leave them alone. God, Benji hoped he wasn’t already gone. 

He pushed open the door, his heart pounding in his chest, his blood rushing through his ears. God, please, don’t let Victor be gone.

His eyes scanned the school property, another wave of relief hitting him as he saw a familiar frame sitting slumped over on the bench.  _ Oh, thank God. _

Benji’s breath was trembling as he walked. There was so much that could happen, so much to say. How did Benji sum up everything he needed to say, everything he needed to tell him, everything he was feeling, his confusion, his relief, his everything. 

Victor turned to him slowly, and Benji’s heart stopped. The moonlight hit Victor’s cheekbones so they glowed, his dark complexion reflecting the lights outside. His eyes were communicating a thousand things, surprise, excitement, fear, adoration. How did Benji say everything he needed to? How did he explain the emotions coursing through his veins, pounding in his heart, soaking into his brain. 

He at least knew how to start. He opened his mouth, took a deep, trembling breath, and said, “Hey.”

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave some comments or go check out my other fics idk whatever you wanna do ily guys


End file.
